The Magic Montain
A Study on Depression and Addiction
by André Morais, March 2023
The song of the Brasilian group Legião Urbana named "The Magic Montain", from the album, is by far one of the most rich pieces of poetry to describe depression and addiction. As Renato Russo (the band leader) sings, we are taken to a jorney where we start with the denial of the problem, through several relapses, and then to the decition to end with it.
I'm my own leader, I go round in circles
I balance betwen days and nights
My whole life waits something from me
half a smile, half a moon, full afternoon
The first stage of addiction is denial. The pacient denies that he is out of control. So, often when someone tries to give advice about moderation he will hear the pacient responding "I know what I'm doing, I'm my own leader". But also often the addicted know that he is going nowhere, going "round in circles". He is balances "between days and nights", which clearly means a situation of survival. A person with addiction don't loose himself sundenly, from a-day-to-the-other, but gets gradually off the balance of being functional and wasted, tipping towards the last.
Now. It's normal when people have expectations of us. That's the true sign of a persons' value to their life. Children expect protection and providing from their parents. Wives expect fidelity and companionship from their husbands. Husbands expect care and sex from their wives. Friends expect you add something to their lives.
To those who are lost to addiction and depression (depression being a form of addiction) the expectation of others, the life that "waits something from" you manytimes seems unfair. But believe me: it isn't. When people around you need nothing from you - because they can solve it alone or even prefer to solve it by themselves - you are become nothing. However, when you have someone who expect things from you, and who is willing to give the chance of providing it, you have the best tool to treat addiction and depression. To be needed by someone and to provide for the needs of that person. I've never saw anybody who did that in his life and wasn't at least safe.
My Poppy from India
My flower from Thailand
You are the softest thing I have
And you hurt me so bad
Here is the first relapse, and the presentation of the addiction. The drug the person uses (the Poppy from India = Opium) can be anything the person is addicted to and that though it is bringing pleasure, being the "softest thing", it also is cause hurt. Of course, the hurt is never to ourselves, but to others around us also: the same people ("life") that expect things from us.
This is an important point. A important thing that the compouser put close together the drug, the good part of it, and the bad. We can cleary say that who is singing is not at the start stage of addiction, because he is already seeing both sides of it: the good and the worst. Only a person in an advance stage of addiction is able to see something like that, and only after seen and admited, someone can strat a process of restoration of oneself. As it is said in AAA: the first step is to addmit you have a problem.
Important: note that this chorus will be repeated in the song everytime the subject gets too heavier to deal with. Exactly like someone so uses drugs as a escaping way.
This is an important point. A important thing that the compouser put close together the drug, the good part of it, and the bad. We can cleary say that who is singing is not at the start stage of addiction, because he is already seeing both sides of it: the good and the worst. Only a person in an advance stage of addiction is able to see something like that, and only after seen and admited, someone can strat a process of restoration of oneself. As it is said in AAA: the first step is to addmit you have a problem.
Important: note that this chorus will be repeated in the song everytime the subject gets too heavier to deal with. Exactly like someone so uses drugs as a escaping way.
Stayed now what had gone away
I am just a bit tired
I don't know if it ends soon
My knee hurts
and there's nothing that can be done now
Pain, hangover, the body that is no longer what was. Good moments and worst moments come and go. And as the side effects and after effects of addiction become rotine, "there's nothing that can be done".
What are the angels for?
The happiness lives with me here
at least until the second warning
Another now lives my life
I know what he dreams, thinks and feels
The friends and family that give advice are the angels. There are sent by God to aid in the process of recovery, but often in the first stages of the problem the addicted don't see or don't admit what they are here for. Know that he won't progress until he does.
Have you ever imagined what you would be, had you not made that mistake? Had you not taken that path you took? You could be in a better house, in a better profession. And specially, do you know of a person that lives that life exactly because he is not you, and made not that mistake, and took not that path of yours. The addicted already thought of it at some point. And maybe right now that is his biggest nightmare.
Is not a coincidence my indiference
I am a copy of what I do!
What we've got is what we have left
and we are wanting for too much
Addiction robs of potential. The person with addiction is never at his prime. Even though he might be function, he is just a "copy" of what he could do. A copy of what he could be.
The fact that some who recovered from addiction do more than others. They are more careful, they are more atentive, they are more lifeful. That has nothing to do with "Waw, now they understand their full potential", but is the compensation that are due after all that have been lost in the dark times of addiction.
During addiction, piece by piece, the addicted looses things and oportunities and loved ones. He who wants both keep is addiction unchecked and not loose is "wanting for too much". So, some in recovery reduce the amount of time dedicatated to his addiction in order to increase the amount of time with other things in life, like work and family and friends and sport. That is one solution for those who cannot fully recover.
The fact that some who recovered from addiction do more than others. They are more careful, they are more atentive, they are more lifeful. That has nothing to do with "Waw, now they understand their full potential", but is the compensation that are due after all that have been lost in the dark times of addiction.
During addiction, piece by piece, the addicted looses things and oportunities and loved ones. He who wants both keep is addiction unchecked and not loose is "wanting for too much". So, some in recovery reduce the amount of time dedicatated to his addiction in order to increase the amount of time with other things in life, like work and family and friends and sport. That is one solution for those who cannot fully recover.
My Poppy from India
My flower from Thailand
You are the softest thing I have
And you hurt me so bad
The themes got too heavier. Time for another relapse.
There is an out-of-control, that brings corruption and growth
It may be, but I am ready for one more
What is it that disvirtues and teachers?
What have we done with our own lives?
In this stage of addiction the person has ups and downs and is aware of it. The awareness is important as long as the person is taking it as a lesson and he is trying to improve and (the most important) is improving.
If you see an addicted person (and this include addiction to behavor) is not improving, beware, specially if he says anything like the song here. May people who are not willing to change but are demanded to change will give you those excuses: I'm trying (but he is not), I know I'm doing it wrong (he is doing little to avoid it), etc. There is only try with some result to show.
"What have we done with our own lives?" Here is the worst point of addiction, when the person comes to full understanding what he has done with his life. That is the bottom of the pit.
In accordance to this thought, the song here enters into a instrumental filled with desperation.
The mechanics of friendship
The mathematics of lovers
Now, only recycling handwork
The rest is rubble
Friendship works and creates opportunities to avoit loneliness, and love (from sex and marriage) are the best addition to the recovery from addiction. Look for one or both of them, and respect what they have to offer both in command and demand. They are the best to help you with addiction, when you will not be able to help yourself.
The road of recovery from addiction if paved with "recycling handwork", because everything probably got demolited, and there is only rubble. That is perfectly normal, 'cause things are what they are.
With hard work you can restore many points in your life that were lost or broken. They might even be beautiful, but they still will be "recycling handwork".
But of course we will not do any harm
and that is not what we are here for
every kid with his own pocket-knife
every leader with his own .38
The problem of addiction, though it is a problem of everybody around the addicted, the main battle is always with yourself. No excuses for not picking up the swords and rifles you have (even if they are only a pocket-knife and .38) and fight your problem.
My Poppy from India
My flower from Thailand
Enough, I'm going to change my life
Let the cup fills up to the top
I want a day of sun
in a cup of water (END)
It would be another relapse. Another use of the chorus, another fall into the addiction. But finally the singer took the first step: the decistion. he is "going to change" his life. He also wants to take things slowly. "A strom in a cup of water" is a brasilian expression we have to describe someone who is being dramatic, who is taking a problem that is simple and treating it out of proportion.
Decision, proper!, actual!, and taking things slowly but progressively. That is one of the best paths out of addiction.
As I said in the start, this is one of the best songs to talk about addiction, and by side effect depression, that is often the cause to addiction. In the song we can see three stages of the problem: the start, with arrogance of thinking is all under control; the middle, when problems and side effects are felt; and the third, where recovery and restoration of things are wanted and worked for.
I won't lie to you. If the person cannot reach the thrid and if he doesn't make it work enough for him and the others he depends on, the fourth and final stage is the destroction of the self. I never witness anyone who went into the fourth and then out of it.
So, if you are suffering in one of the three stages, or are suffering because of someone (children, parent, husband or wife), I hope that the song and this analysis may help you and guide you out of it.
There is always a chance for "a day of sun in a cup of water."
